My $540-a-night cabin on the world's largest cruise ship was shockingly small and disappointing (2024)

Advertisem*nt

Royal Caribbean invited me on the Icon of the Seas' complimentary three-night preview sailing in late January — a week before the ship's official debut.

I was assigned one of the ocean-view balcony cabins on deck 14, near the spa.

A cool 80% of its 2,805 cabins were designed for families — a sharp increase from previous vessels, Michael Bayley, the president and CEO of Royal Caribbean International, told reporters.

The cruise operator is going after families. It makes sense — the Icon of the Seas looks like a giant floating amusem*nt park.

Advertisem*nt

But I'm not sure a family of four could peacefully coexist in my balcony cabin.

I can be a picky cruise cynic. But I have a right to be disgruntled by a stateroom bathroom so small that it made a cryotherapy chamber look like a mansion.

Equally disgruntling could be its price: The Icon’s ocean-view balcony cabins start at $3,790 a person in 2024.

The megaship is spending its first year operating weeklong cruises from Miami to Mexico, the Caribbean, and Royal Caribbean’s private island, Perfect Day at CocoCay.So the price comes out to $540 a night per person.

Advertisem*nt

At least the stateroom guarantees great views of the ocean.

Some of the ship's balcony cabins face the interior, either the Icon’s plant-filled Central Park or the colorful, kid-friendly Surfside neighborhood.

Thankfully, my 50-square-foot balcony — one-fourth the size of the cabin's interior — overlooked the ocean, serving as my meditative reprieve from the chaotic megaship.

Advertisem*nt

But when I dragged myself back inside, my ocean-breeze-induced peace was quickly replaced with a list of complaints.

Two twin mattresses were pushed together to make the king-size bed.

Unfortunately for my back pain, the hard ridge where the two beds met made me feel like a princess sleeping on a pea.

Advertisem*nt

It didn't help that the sheets were unusually uncomfortable.

But I'll pretend my bed's view of the TV, which included Chromecast, makes up for this.

Advertisem*nt

The hotel room at sea can sleep up to four travelers thanks to the living room's sofa bed.

I'm using "room" loosely. Like most cruise cabins, it was just a couch and a desk with a vanity.

Not much to say here: The space wasn't a standout.

(I'm just saving my breath for all my gripes with the bathroom.)

Advertisem*nt

I've seen some small bathrooms. I live in a New York City apartment, after all.

But the one in my stateroom made my apartment's box of a bathroom seem like a palatial retreat fit for a king (of a porcelain throne).

The room couldn't fit more than one person at a time. It could barely accommodate my bony elbows.

Advertisem*nt

And the amenities fell short. I was hoping for more than a two-in-one body wash and shampoo.

Some hair conditioner would’ve been nice, especially after a few hours at the ship’s chlorine-filled water park and hot tubs.

But I should’ve expected it — I had the same complaint when I sailed on the Icon’s predecessor and the world’s previous largest cruise ship, Wonder of the Seas.

Advertisem*nt

Is it too much to ask for bath towels that don’t pill all over your face? I have a skincare routine to upkeep here.

Problems aside, I'll admit the bathroom carried surprisingly decent storage: three sets of shelves and a deep drawer.

Advertisem*nt

Ample storage should be a priority for any cruising family, especially in a small four-person cabin.

Thankfully, I have minimal complaints in this department.

Small shelves were subtly integrated near the TV, the desk had plenty of drawers, and the closet was, well, a closet.

Advertisem*nt

But I, ever the opinionated, have a bone to pick with the latter.

The wardrobe's metal bins let out ear-piercing screeches at every move. It was a lazy design decision, and I'm sure some cheap felt pads could've saved me a few winces.

Advertisem*nt

In defense of Royal Caribbean, my balcony cabin did come with all the bare essentials.

And I'll admit I found myself retreating to my stateroom more times than I'd expected during my three nights on the Icon.

The ship was overwhelming. My cabin was not.

Advertisem*nt

But at $540 a night per person, I had hoped for a nearly perfect hotel room at sea.

The cost to vacation in the Icon's balcony cabin is comparable to that of an ultraluxury cruise ship.

Please, sir, I want some more square footage in the bathroom, towels that don't shed, a comfortable bed, and maybe even a drop of hair conditioner. (That's what Oliver Twist said, right?)

Advertisem*nt

However, some traveling families could find this price justifiable.

Cruises are often seen as a reasonable vacation value proposition.

Besides the cabin, the cost to sail on the megaship includes fun nighttime entertainment, half the ship's restaurants, and activities like mini golf.

Advertisem*nt

So think of it this way: You're not paying $3,790 per person to bicker with your kids about who gets to use the tiny bathroom first.

You're paying to spend your afternoons flailing around the Icon of the Seas' six-slide water park and indulging in as many hot dogs as your heart desires.